The Ten Commandments of Karl Lehrs

Karl Lehrs was a classical philologist of the mid-1800s. He was a German Jew, a convert to Christianity, a professor of philology at Königsberg University, and three-time winner of the worst combover in Germany. Lehrs' Ten Commandments for Classical Philologists, penned in the old Lutheran German, are timeless. My favorites are

"Thou shalt not bow down before false manuscripts."

"Though shalt not scavenge for Sanskrit roots."

"Thou shalt not believe that ten bad reasons are equal to one good one."

You can read Calder's translation of Lehrs' Ten Commandments here.